I thought I would write an update to my last post It’s Okay to Leave Facebook , since it has been a month and I feel amazing. By amazing I mean grounded, present, and content in my life. I have also found extra time in my day. Some points or realizations about leaving Facebook.
- Children are watching.
- A funny thing happened a week in. My eldest “J” 8 years old, said “mom you haven’t been on Facebook.” I explained why and that I deleted my account. “J” then proceeded to become upset and lamenting the fact with how would I know what is going on and how would mommies friends know what is happening with us. I explained that there was more than facebook to find out about “happenings” and that mommy still uses the phone to call and text her friends. This was a gut moment for me. I had made facebook a priority and my children internalized that value.
- I am present when my children are talking to me. I am not in my devices listening to them and focusing on the device.
- They have priority. I am not proud of the mommy moments that I would become angry if they interrupted me during a post, ranted, in a heated conversation trying to change someones mind that probably was having fun egging on the exchange “trolls”.
- Discipline. They are seeing mommy work through a weakness with the help of the Lord. They are seeing me turning to the bible.
- Time adds up.
- I have been known to say “I have no time” and “I am so busy”. Reality is that I chose to occupy my time with social media. As a Christian I found myself prioritizing prayer and the word of God for spare moments of my time. The time freed up from social media has allowed me to dedicate that time to cultivating a better relationship with Heavenly Father. When I felt the urge to go on Facebook I turned to the good book the Bible and read the word. I found as I filled my mind with the word my outlook and joy grew.
- The old adage “Garbage in Garbage out” rang true for me.
- On more than one occasion I found myself not being an ambassador for Christ. I found myself easily offended and at times not so loving in my responses to posts of friends or strangers. I failed to properly guard my mind from the deception that the enemy would play. I was angry, envious, covetous and discontented with my life as a mom, wife, christian, woman because I was comparing it to the world of Facebook.
- I must admit that the first two weeks was the hardest. I felt very disconnected and out-of-place. I felt as though I was missing out on something. Turning to the Lord help strengthen the resolve. Facebook is sneaky. I had the choice to deactivate my account for a short time. Been there, done that. Reactivating it is simply logging back in at anytime and everything appears as if you never left. Deleting has a 14-day grace period that if you change your mind you can log on and change it before they delete it. Meaning, after the 14 days you will have to register as a new user and fill the form out again and set everything up from scratch. I wanted to delete my account.
- Healthy Boundaries and Healthy Debate
- Further retrospect, I can see that I was seeking approval or likes to validate me as a person. I felt an emotional high for being an arm-chair warrior and activist. Meaning I share my opinion on Facebook but don’t do something concrete about it like calling my state officials or congressman, getting out in local community, running for office and making the change (not rioting). I love debating but debate is not name calling, trolling, or obscenities. Debate for me is exchange of accurate and convincing evidence to prove ones assertion. If we disagree then lets agree to disagree respectfully.
- Finally, My identity is not what other people comment about me or how many likes I get for posts. My identity is in Christ. He is the way the truth to a real relationship with the heavenly father.
2 Corinthians 10:5 to “capture every thought and make it give up and obey Christ.”
I am not against Facebook or social media apps in general. I understand the allure and social context. My blog has a share button for Facebook. However, when media, an app, food, alcohol, legal/illegal drugs, gambling consumes your life, causes changes in mood/behavior, and take priority over God, family, job, and real social interaction then it must be evaluated. Please, tell someone a pastor, family member, friend, spouse, counselor, when you need help getting back to living life. I am a sinner and have made plenty of mistakes but through Jesus I am saved, I am forgiven, I can repent and move forward. Nothing is too big for God.
“Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6